So, I decided to finally make an appointment with a medical clinic that does not only counseling and therapy, but testing as well. I suffer badly from depression and anxiety, that much is obvious. But, for a while now I have wanted to know if maybe there are other underlying issues. Low end of the autism spectrum? ADHD? BPD? Its time I know for certain, and at age 38, possibly start my road to recovery. As hopeful as I am, I know that nothing is certain. Ive taken a dozen different anti depressants over the years, and none of them have helped. In my mind, I am broken and will be sad forever. I'll never hold down a long term job, Ill never find a human companion that loves me, I'll be a prisoner inside my head until I die. Lately it has been rough. I have trouble doing easy things, like getting out of bed. Leaving the house. Taking general care of myself. These have become struggles.
But for now, I am waiting for this clinic to have time for me in their schedule (4-7 week wait), and despite nearing crisis mode, I am as hopeful as I ever was. I hope you are hanging in there as well.
What im listening to
